I will never marry a salesman...

I had the pleasure of looking for a new(used) car recently. This was quite the educational adventure for me. Mazda is Japanese for those of you that thought it was Ford. It's not Ford. I've always been a little bit afraid of car salesmen. Being a young, single, blonde girl has a lot to do with that. I've always been told never to car shop without a guy in tow because I'll be taken advantage of. I went to the first dealership completely alone and was a little bit too enthusiastic. Apparently you have to act like you hate the car you love in order to actually buy it. It's a lot like dating come to think of it. Play hard to get. Don't be too enthusiastic. Make sure the ball is in your court at all times. Make dealers jealous of each other. Be mysterious. Yep-exactly like dating. Especially since the salesmen are always complimenting you and telling you what you want to hear even if it isn't true. "Wow-you're a really good driver! You picked up on that manual transmission switch over really fast!" I'd really like to believe that my driving skills are stellar in comparison to others-but they're really not and I know it full well.

A lot of people go into a dealership thinking the dealer is in charge. Not so. The buyer is always in charge. I like to be in charge so, as you can imagine, I was completely in my element. I went to a different dealer and played all my cards exactly right. I wasn't too enthusiastic. There were several times during the test drive that I wanted to scream and yell and cheer because I loved the car so much-but I didn't. I simply said "Ok." to everything the dealer was telling me. He tried his absolute best to crack some sort of positive response but was never successful. I also compared this particular dealer's car to the dealer's cars I had seen the previous day.

We went into his cubicle to talk about pricing. This is where it gets really tricky. It's like having a DTR (Define The Relationship) in the dating process. Everybody hates it, but it's a necessary evil. The dealer gave me his "best price," and I looked at him long and hard for at least a minute. Never underestimate the power of the pause. I knew this wasn't his best price and so did he. He was testing me. I asked the magic words "Is that REALLY the best you can do? That car just isn't worth that price to me." Mind you-a car is ONLY worth what someone is willing to pay for it.

The rest of our negotiation went something like this: I made an offer and the dealer went to talk to his boss. He came back with an answer. "Sure, we can sell it at this price. When you add on taxes, licensing fees, etc. it comes out to about the same price I gave you before." Me: "Well then that doesn't sound like a deal to me at all. No, I want the car at THIS (I pointed to my offer on the paper in case he wasn't sure) price out-the-door. Fees included." Dealer: "Are you planning on trading your car in?" Me: "I don't even have a reasonable price from you yet. Trading a car is not an option at this point." Dealer: "Let me talk to my boss." Me: "Fine." Dealer: "Ok, if you buy the car today I can give it to you at this price OTD (out the door for those you that were wondering if I was talking about some kind of disease). To which I replied: "Great. Now let's talk about my trade in." Dealer: "Oh, so you are doing a trade? (They hate this, by the way, but you can't give away all your assets at once. You've gotta hold on to the buying power). We'll give you this much for it." Me: "Fine. If you bring the price down another couple hundred dollars I'll pay cash right now (another thing-never tell a dealer how you're paying until the very last minute)." Dealer: "let me talk to my boss." Me: "Fine." Dealer: "Sign here and you've got yourself a deal." Me: "Give me a full tank of gas and I'll sign right now." Dealer: "Done." My boss gave me a lot of tips of how to wheel and deal while being completely honest. I didn't want to feel slimy or dishonest at all about my negotiation. The great thing is-I really feel proud of the way I handled it. The salesman I was dealing with (Mike) was completely thrown off by my frankness and knowledge of the car I was looking at (a Mazda 3 by-the-by). I did my homework and it really paid off. I got the car down to just about the exact price that I wanted. Also, right after I sealed the deal, a guy around my age came up to me and said he had been looking at that very same car for 3 weeks now and that he was negotiating for it with his salesman at the same time I was, but that I somehow beat him out. No wonder that other salesman kept glaring at me.

That being said, I absolutely love the car. In fact, everyone I've talked to that owns or has owned a Mazda 3 loves them. So, should you have a series of unfortunate events (much like Lemony Snicket) with your present car, I highly recommend you look into buying a Mazda 3.

Zoom-zoom.

Comfort

A while back I got a phone call from a friend of mine who had just called off her engagement. I listened to her cry and mourn the loss of the life she thought she would have. My heart went out to her. I wanted so badly to say the right thing. I said something, which, at the time, I thought was very comforting. It went something like this, "Well, at least you figured out that he wasn't the right one before you actually got married so you don't have to go through the pain of a divorce. You'll find the right guy when the time is right. You're lucky your relationship didn't end like Lacey Peterson's, right?" Ok. So the Lacy Peterson probably wasn't the most sensitive thing to say, but you catch my drift. I was trying to make her realize that her situation wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been.

Finding myself in her same situation about one year after that conversation I had several people say similar things to me. "At least you broke it off and realized you weren't right for each other before you got married unlike so and so. Her divorce is awful." "At least it didn't end badly like so and so's relationship." It was then that I realized that those words are in no way comforting. In fact, I've come to the conclusion that it is never ok to "one up" someone's pain when they are still, in fact, feeling the pain. Sure, they might later recognize the fact that you're right. They might acknowledge that things could have been worse for them. In their time of pain, though, it is certainly not necessary to point out the fact that 99.9% of the world is probably worse off than they are. I'm positive that the person who told me about their daughter's horrible marriage/divorce seconds after I told them about a recent breakup did in no way comfort me or make me feel better. In fact, it made me feel as if I didn't have a right to mourn, and that my situation was not even worth mentioning.

Recently my father had his car stolen with some very valuable (but more importantly sentimental) things inside of it. Naturally, being the protective daughter that I am, I was furious. First of all, I have never been able to understand the mentality of a person who steals something because he/she wasn't willing to work for it in the first place. This is America. Get a job, make some money, save it up, and go buy your own car. Stealing is just plain lazy. That's beside the point, though. I was angry and venting to a friend. My friend said something like "Well, at least your dad wasn't hurt. Plus, he's still well off. In fact, he's more well off than most of the world." He one-upped my...I mean my dad's...situation. And Sure. I'm all for that. It's awesome that he wasn't yanked out from the driver's seat by the villain and left to die on the side of the road while said villain drives off in my dad's car. I get that. I now recognize the fact that it could have been worse and that my family was actually very blessed. Had I been in a less aggravated mind state I'm sure it would have made perfect sense to me. But really? It can ALWAYS be worse. That doesn't make our frustrations or pains at the time any less real.

While I completely understand the fact that everything needs to be put in perspective, I also feel there is a right time to do so. It's perfectly human and normal to feel pain and frustration. We're allowed that. The most beautiful thing about that is that our Savior, himself, felt every single one of those pains. He understands those pains/frustrations we, as humans, inevitably feel. He knew we would feel that. He warned us of those pains/frustrations. What's even better is that He doesn't ever, ever, ever compare us to anyone else. It's so nice to know that when I go to my Savior for comfort He is there for me and me alone. He doesn't say things like "Well, you know, Emily, your life is not nearly as hard as the rest of the world. Suck it up." He doesn't ever actually "say" anything to me at all, actually, for those of you that were wondering. =) He allows me my time to feel the pain, and then gently nudges me to seek out and help those individuals around me whose situations are more dire than my own. I live a pretty darn good life. That doesn't absolve frustrating days, though. I think it's important to comfort others more like our Savior comforts us--without comparison to others.

"In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours." - Mark Twain

I've finally awoken from my winter hibernation. Aren't you glad? It's supposed to be 70 degrees on Monday. Yay! I love warm weather. I'm pretty much a zombie all winter, and I come back to life come Spring. There's only one thing I don't like about Spring. Birds. They never stop chirping. Ever. Not even at night. At work the other day I had to go up to an apartment on the top floor to check to see if the resident had a dog (we don't allow dogs because we're really mean). My coworker and I reached the last flight of stairs but before walking up the stairs we noticed a statue of a pigeon right in front of the resident's door. Only it wasn't a statue because the head tilted slightly to the side. I noticed it had made the most pathetic nest I've ever seen RIGHT in front of the door. I'm not kidding-the nest was sitting on the doormat and consisted of a couple of pine needles. It's not like it fell down from anywhere because there was no where for it to fall down from. I walked up the stairs and noticed the pigeon was sitting on two baby pigeons. You might think that sounds cute, but I'm here to tell you that it wasn't cute. Pigeons are ugly. Pigeon babies are even uglier. Pigeons are dirty and I'm pretty sure they carry bird flu. The mom pigeon got mad and flew straight towards me and then disappeared. Of course I screamed. Wouldn't you? My coworker wouldn't even come up the stairs. I suddenly felt like I was in Alfred Hitchcock's movie "The Birds." Our maintenance guys "took care" of the pigeon problem. How, you ask? I don't know-but I'm sure it was very humane. It's been pretty rainy here the past couple of weeks and you cannot even believe the amount of worms we've had all over the sidewalks where I live. There's no way around them-you have to just step right on them to get to your car. Sick. I guess birds are good for getting rid of the worms. I'll write more when I have something more exciting than birds and worms to write about. Oh! I saw the brightest shooting star I've ever seen last night while driving and made a wish. That was pretty exciting. Two seconds after that I hit a pothole, and my hubcap flew off of my car. That definitely wasn't what I wished for. Happy Spring! =)

"Intellectually I know that America is no better than any other country; emotionally I know she is better than every other country." - Sinclair Lewis

I went to class tonight and learned some things. I learned that teachers should not try to act like teenagers (swearing, using slang terms that even teenagers themselves would never use such as “fo sho” or “phat”, etc.). I also learned that some people should definitely ask themselves this before they speak “Am I going to end up sounding like a total moron if I say this?” And really, if you even have to ask yourself that question, you probably shouldn’t say what you’re thinking. The professor asked this question “How can you obtain quality of life?” Don’t worry, I’m not a philosophy major. It applies to business…or so I’m told. A fellow classmate of mine forgot to ask himself the question I mentioned earlier before he spoke and said (in a really thick southern accent), “You know, I don’t have quality of life in Utah because it is way too overpopulated thanks to the Mormons.” Way to go for saying that in a room full of Mormons, first of all. Second of all, where are you from? Because seriously, if you think Utah is crowded try Phoenix-or better yet-take a trip to L.A.-or better yet-take a trip to NYC. Or China for that matter. Nice going picking Utah as your overpopulation example. Utah actually has a really good balance between civilization and the great outdoors. Did I just compliment Utah? I must be going crazy. Don’t worry, Arizona, you’re still my one and only even if you are overpopulated and full of cancerous air.

My professor constantly bashes Bush for all of the horrible things he’s done and it really gets on my nerves. I’m probably 1 of 5 people in this country willing to say this, but I actually liked Bush. I might be hunted down and killed for saying that. Granted, there are things he did that I’m not fond of, but it really bothers me when people start bashing their own president. Americans can be so quick to blame our recession on Bush, but fail to remember the fact that he pulled us out of economic uncertainty and kept us from going into a recession when he was elected president in 2000. Americans are screaming equal rights and that everyone be treated fairly, but we can’t even give our own president a little respect. I’m very nervous about Obama and do not agree with some of the things he’s already done, but I can’t imagine ever defaming his name the way a lot of Americans have chosen to do to Bush. We are very blessed to live in America. I’ve never actually been outside of the United States, but I’m very proud and happy to be an American. There are so many people right now who are saying “Oh, I am FINALLY proud to be an American now that Obama is president.” It’s beyond me why anyone would base his or her pride off of one person. I like to call these people "fair weather Americans." They're only proud when things are going their way, and the economy is good, and the person they voted for got elected as president, and we aren't involved with wars in other countries. I think now, more than ever, we need to come together as a country and be proud of what our nation stands for. There are a million and one reasons to be proud to be an American regardless of who the president is. I’ll get off my soapbox. I’m not really one to talk politics, but a level of respect for the president is deserved. Although I am nervous about Obama I do have high hopes that he will eventually be able to pull us out of the slump we’re in right now. I pray for him and his advisors every day to steer our country in the direction that the Lord would have it go. I may not agree with what he’s done so far, and I did not vote for him, but I am still rooting for him and for America to succeed. I feel like the Lord has blessed me with the gift of being born into a nation where I pretty much have everything I could ever want at my fingertips as long as I’m willing to work for it. I have so many opportunities here that I would not have in other countries. My patriarchal blessing says that I’ve been very blessed to come to this great land of America to fulfill the mission that the Lord has for me. I hope I live a life that shows how grateful I am to be able to live in a land of opportunity and be able to go about the Lord's work all because I live in a free country.
I am so very, very grateful for the job that I have. A good job these days seems to be something of a hot commodity, and I feel so lucky to have the job that I have. I don’t make a lot of money by any means, but since I work at an apartment complex my rent is dirt cheap and my bills are always very low. I highly recommend getting a job at an apartment complex to any college student. =) I feel like the Lord was really looking out for me a year and a half ago when I moved here to Utah. I had no experience with leasing apartments, but somehow got the job anyway. I work with and for genuinely good, honest people who care about their success as well as my success in the company. I feel lucky enough to just have a job at all these days. The fact that I love my job is just icing on the cake. I’m so grateful that the Lord looks out for me and has a plan for me.